


(Not) A Burden

by Um_Lol



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alcohol, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, James Reynolds Being an Asshole, Marliza, Nightmares, One Shot, POV First Person, Past James Reynolds/Maria Reynolds, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:42:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22531924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Um_Lol/pseuds/Um_Lol
Summary: Maria has nightmares about James. She thinks she is a burden to everyone, especiallyher. So, she finds something to drink.
Relationships: Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	(Not) A Burden

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this Marliza oneshot!

_“You’re just a slut!”_

_“No one cares about you.”_

_“You’re ugly.”_

Words repeated over and over in my head. Stop. Please stop. I can picture him, telling all these insults. He came back... He always comes back even when I thought escaped. Of course he came back. He doesn’t care about what he’s saying, I am a slut after all.

_“You’re a burden to everyone”_

He is right... I burden everyone. Especially Eliza. I mean I was the one who caused Alex to cheat on her. No one would care if I was gone. I’m a burden to everyone I know.

Eliza wouldn’t care if I died. I cry as the words echo inside my head. I then see Eliza.

 _ **“I** **hate you!** If you didn’t exist I’d still be with Alex,”_ Eliza shouts.

But, James forced me. I didn’t have a choi-

_“You only make my life difficult slut!”_

Eliza... If I wasn’t here, she would be happier. Everyone would be happier without me.

I wake up. That was a dream? I look around and see that James isn’t here and that Eliza is asleep next to me. She probably would say that, just not to my face. My side of bed has wet tears on it, probably from me crying. I grab a few tissues and wipe the tears off my face. What time is it? Oh, it’s 2 AM. I should go get a drink.

I walk downstairs, trying to be quiet to not wake Eliza up. I don’t know why she’s still with me. I make everything difficult. She deserves better than me. I walk towards the kitchen, and find an alcohol bottle. It’s still half full. I pour myself a glass of it. I need to stop thinking about James. But, I can’t help but feel he was right. I know I shouldn’t but, my mind tells me otherwise. I’ve already drank most of the glass of alcohol... Well I should pour some more.

“Maria?” I hear a tired voice say.

Oh no. How did she wake up? Well this is a bad situation. She’ll hate me. She’ll leave me and find someone better. I can’t even look her in the eye.

“Is t-that alcohol?” she asks.

“No, of course not. It’s grape juice haha...” I say, trying to make her laugh.

Eliza doesn’t respond, leaving the room in silence. I stare at the bottle.

She still hates you for what you did to her.

Tears start forming in my eyes. I shouldn’t be thinking about that. Not now. I shouldn’t cry, but the tears almost fall. I hope she doesn’t notice anything. I try my best to hold back my tears but...

“Maria! Are you all right? You haven’t said anything.”

The tears fall out.

“You’re crying... Please tell me what’s wrong,” Eliza says while walking over.

“Come here.”

I walk towards her and Eliza hugs me. She holds me in her warm embrace. I lean my head against her shoulder while she strokes my hair.

“Am I a burden to you?” I ask.

“No, you’re not a burden to me. More like a blessing actually...”

“What did you say at the end? I couldn’t hear you.”

“U-um It was nothing important.”

I feel like she’s lying but I’ll go with it. I still wonder if she’s mad at me about Alex. She might be...

“Are you still mad about what happened between me and Alex?” I ask.

She lets out a sigh before answering.

“No, you had no choice. Also Alex would’ve probably broken up with me.”

“Why?”

“Because recently he told me he was gay. I guess he didn’t tell you. But now he’s dating John.”

Oh, I guess that makes sense. Still, how did no one tell me?

“It was still mostly Alex’s fault for not just walking away from you and instead doing that. If he does anything similar to John, I will find him and-

“I think this conversation has gone off topic,” I interrupt her.

“I think it has as well,” she laughs.

“I should probably tell you that I had a nightmare.”

“Oh, that’s why you’re asking me all these strange questions and drinking alcohol at 2 AM.”

Eliza continues to hold me. She’s been stroking my hair the while time and it kinda feels nice.

“Your hair is so beautiful,” she mumbles.

I blush at her comment. I feel so much calmer than I was a few moments ago.

“We should head back to bed. Should I carry you or do you want to walk upstairs?” Eliza asks.

I don’t want to her to let go of me.

“Carry me, ’cause I’m too tired to walk,” I answer.

She lifts me up and walks upstairs. She walks towards our bedroom and gently puts me down on the bed. She tucks me in and cuddles me. I almost drift off to sleep.

“You’re not a burden to me, or anyone. Remember that Maria,” Eliza whispers.

I love Eliza so much.


End file.
